Goodbye….

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Goodbye….

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Struggled throughout the night, kept looking at the window waiting for the sun to come out and shine.

The darkness started to fade, I put my old torn shoes and decided to go for a walk by the sea-shore.
6 a.m. in the morning, yet the place was full of people. Couples, friends, family, tourists, everybody looked so happy and fine. A small kid selling newspapers, a man asking people if they want to click a picture and make a memory, an old man requesting passersby to get their shoes polished so he can buy himself some food.

Some boats in the sea caught my eye and suddenly I felt my world coming to a standstill. Suddenly I wanted to turn blind towards all the happy faces around me and I wanted to turn deaf towards all the conversations and laughter around me. I felt envy and rage.

Hundreds of people around me, yet I felt all alone, scared, legs trembling and body cold. A huge wave of agony came crashing towards me and I lost my balance. I did not feel sane anymore. The boats going farther away in the sea and I heard his voice. Those words that I was always afraid of hearing. His voice sharp and piercing.

‘Goodbye my love, its time for me to leave.’
and I felt my heart bleeding inside of me. I have seen movies and read books about love and heartbreak and all that pain of losing the one. But nothing can ever describe the void and misery that I feel within. Its like the lyrics left the music. Now the music is sad and incomplete for some, while for others it’s a beautiful melody.

And I stand there, wondering, what hurts more?
When a person leaves you without a single word, and you wait there at the edge of the cliff, not knowing what went wrong, why did he leave, where did he go, is he ever coming back?
OR, a person saying that most painful word, ‘Goodbye’? Is there anything good in a goodbye?

Destiny can be a bitch, I think to myself. Sure it has the power of taking apart two humans unconditionally and insanely in love with each other and throw them in two such corners of the world that they never see each other in their lives. But what it can never do is separate their hearts and souls.

I heard the words he never spoke, and cried the tears I never could. Miles and miles of sea for as far as I could look, the boats were gone, out of my sight.

‘Wherever you are, I hope you think about me just like I do’, I sighed. Closed my eyes and finally made peace with the fact that he is never coming back.

Love,
Arch ❤️